Sunday, 17th June

Dear diary, today I find myself again in an argument with my co-workers. Christophe has just left my office after complaining that my watches are too skinny.

But what does Christophe understand? Thin is beautiful!! Not like those horrible Master Compressors that he keeps trying to sell to American rap stars and Navy Seals!

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In the last decade we’ve seen Ferrari’s tie-in collections from Panerai and Girard Pellagaux become junk, and Brietling fare no better in their partnership with Bentley. You’d therefore think that watch firms would be more cautious in teaming up with car companies to produce watches but no; somehow they just keep trying, with predictable results.

Chopard, as one of the sponsors of the Mille Miglia has always dallied with motor-racing. Every watch manufacturer knows that sponsoring motoring events is good for business. They offer a ready-made (and often false) history steeped in automotive heritage, even if all the manufacture had ever been involved in was providing stopwatches. Anyway, Chopard has decided to cement their dubious racing credentials by linking up with Alfa Romeo to create the GT XL Chrono Alfa Romeo, reference 168459-3028. (more…)

Day, recording studio in the suburbs. Famous radio watch talk-show host Harry Hor Lor Gee is adjusting his microphone and other recording equipment. Across him sits the Incredible Hulk (TM), who looks confused and is clearly uncomfortable in this environment. He examines the microphone in front of him with curiosity, but resists eating it.

Harry Hor: (whispering) .. we’re on? Okay clear the room. (excitedly) Hey watch fans, this is Harry Hor Loh Gee and welcome to another exciting edition of “Watch Tok” -as in ‘Tik Tok’ – get it? Heheh! Boy do we have a special treat in store for you today…

Hulk: Rargh?

Harry Hor: …  and that’s our special guest all “rargh”-ing to go! Heheh! Just hold your horses while I do the show intro sir. “Watch Tok”, your on-air source for critical and objective watch analyses and reviews. “Watch Tok” is brought to you by Hank Bueller, maker of fine watches since 2008. Hank Bueller – we make watches for people who really prefer diamonds.

Like I was saying watch fans, do we have a treat for you today! Introducing live in our studios the very green and very mean Misterrrrrrrrr Incrrrrrrrrrredible Huuuuuulk! At last, watch fans all over the world will finally get to hear what Mr. Hulk himself has to say about horology!

Hulk: (Confused) Urh? (more…)

Fuggli

There are some things that you can tell with just one glance that you aren’t going to take a liking to. Like broccoli. For me though, it’s been broccoli and the Bell and Ross Instrument series of wristwatches. Perhaps it’s the oddly-shaped case that’s supposed to resemble a cockpit indicator. Admittedly I’ve not been in that many cockpits, but I’m not sure if modern plane-makers will stick a big old clock right in the instrument panel. I would have thought stuff like altimeters, flight speed indicators and compasses would be more useful to the pilot. But Bell&Ross thinks pilots need clocks. Maybe they’re right since the flights I take somehow always end up late.

Will not fit in small pockets

Which is a shame really, since B&R is obviously much more than a manufacture that just draws squares. They came up with the rather interesting Demineur, which despite a quartz movement, is a handsome and understated watch useful for bomb disposal. Now THAT’s a real instrument! Readers will also know that I have a soft spot for the Vintage 123 and 126 series of wristwatches, which are well designed and versatile timepieces of a good-size and (somewhat) decent price. It’s therefore good to know that B&R has been refreshing these lines in recent years and coming up with new ones that are not quadrilaterals, such as the Pocketwatch (PW) series they showcased recently at Baselworld.

Right now I’d like to talk about the Vintage 126 though. As mentioned earlier the 123 and 126 lines have been face-lifted recently – the dial markings have become more minimal – culminating in a simpler and less busy look. B&R have released several variations, but I was most impressed by the Vintage 126 Heritage.
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(Written by Auric Goh Fin Ger, Would-be World Dictator, Gold-thief and Purveyor of Pussies Galore)

Mr. Goh Fin Ger

Young man, let me begin by saying that I’ve been around. I was born at the time when a ‘waterproof watch’ meant that you could spit on it and polish the case. When a Cold War meant that a nuclear conflict, not a fight over cheap refrigeration, could break out anytime. But I’m not going to reminisce today. I’m going to teach you about value.

Like I said, I’ve been around. I’ve fought my share of super-spies, be they from MI6 or MILF. In retrospect, not everything I’ve done made sense- like trying to encase people with molten gold, or slice up enemies using a buzz-saw (ed: or, as pointed out by a reader, a laser cutter in the movie version. Yes there was a novel too!). But it’s my rage you see… sometimes, people just get me really, really mad.

Like the other day. (more…)