U know I just hate to procrastinate, I really do, but I’ve got a sea-monkey on my back and his name is Sinn. U might think that after photo-shopping the Sinn U1 in white they might actually go back to designing watches for a change. Well U thought wrong. Late last year (that’s 2009 by the way) they went the way of U-Boat and brought out this new 47mm monstrosity called the ‘Sinn Ultimate U’. Read all about the hard sell here, thanks to the folks at Sinn Club Southeast Asia: http://sinnclubsea.blogspot.com.

Needless to say I’m less than impressed by this latest abomination from my once- favourite watch manufacture. I don’t understand why they can’t leave their masterpiece alone. Did James Cameron try and make Titanic II: That Sinking Feeling? Noooooo… but Sinn has obviously decided to go the way of The Police Academy Series with the U1. First they make it gray. Then they make it black. Then they make it ‘invisible’. Then they make it half-black. Then they paint it white. And now they make it a bit bigger. With that little submarine logo that looks glued- on and the extra 2mm in girth, the only thing ultimate about this latest incarnation of the U1 is that it will set U back by about three times the price of the original, if U manage to get a discount that is.

I can tell U honestly its not even a clever way to make money anymore, although manufactures can probably get away with it the first few times before their clients wise up. Five years ago the waiting list for the original regular production U1 was about three months long. The recent incarnations, those much- vaunted limited editions that were launched to fanfare and parties (barring the 2007 Tempus version) couldn’t even sell out. I know it for sure when the AD starts offering pieces to a skinflint like me; in addition many of these LEs were bought only to be flipped within the week or month. Them eternal optimists at Sinn are still betting on Police Academy 7 to make money at the box-office, it seems.

Which is a darned shame, for Sinn is still probably the best there is at making solid, no-gimmick watches that strike a good balance between value and function. I’m thinking that most people in this world probably don’t need their watches to come with tegimented, submarine- steel casings with one-thousand feet depth- ratings (okay so it does have one gimmick after all, but its a good one), but would U mind paying about a thousand eight hundred USD for one? Doesn’t sound too unreasonable? After all milling submarine steel must cost something. What about something similar for three times that price now? Well hell all I can say is that steel better have had been stolen from the Red October or something!

If you’ve been considering a robust, handsome and manly timepiece with a (potentially) useful gimmick to brag about, then U can’t really go wrong with the Sinn U1. But do yourself a favor and get the no-frills vanilla version or the “I’m just a little different from you” SDR edition for a little bit more. They won’t plunge into the abyss of depreciation like a torpedoed whale and retain the best aspects of watchmaking – durability, Bauhaus-like design and good value – that Sinn was renown for. After all, if you do get your leg chewed off by a shark during that ill-fated dive trip, you would want people to say of you when they recover your carcass: “Man… that dead guy sure was clever!”

Sinn U1 SDR, Submarine Steel Case with Black Tegimented Bezel (Unidirectional), 44mm, 1000m waterproof, 40 hours power reserve. Movement: self-winding ETA 2824.

Just right after I posted the last article I got an email, which went

“Cher Monsieur tourBULLion,
nous avons trouvé votre critique de notres belles montres de mauvais goût et pédant et grossière. Nous absolutement insistons que vous direz des choses avantageux. Si non, nous vous excluons de notres fêtes légendaire pour une durée indéterminée!
Veuillez agréer, Monsieur, l’expression de nos sentiments les meilleurs,
Messieurs Belle Andros”

I think it basically meant,

“Dear Mister tourBULLion,
we find your tasteless and pedantic criticism of our beautiful watches extremely offensive. We absolutely insist that you say something nice about our watches or we shall forever ban you from our wild parties that are the stuff of legend.
Signed,
Messieur Belle Andros.”

What! Meester Belle Andros, do you actually think tourBULLion can be persuaded into contravening our own views just for cheap invites to your parties, which are allegedly the stuff of legend?! I should think not, our journalistic integrity is irreproachable and you will find our resilience similar to a strong wall made of plaster and plywood. Which is why we have to reiterate that the timing of this review is a complete coincidence and something we have been planning for since… some time ago.

To the review then. In the mad excitement surrounding Bell and Ross’ recent stunning successes- all of which can be pinpointed to that veritable 10-ton weight on the wrist, the BR01 Instrument series and its offshoots- its easy to forget that their stable still consists of some real gems that don’t need funky coloring to sell.

The Bell and Ross Military 126, one of two limited edition watches in B&R’s Vintage 126 line, carries what’s left of B&R’s polarised reputation like a wounded squirrel protects its hairy nuts. Standing out in the mostly black and white Vintage 126 range with its bold brown dial and strap, the Military just avoids being too butch, especially if you remove the redundant leather backing. Now this is still a very manly watch, being able to project sheer masculinity with just a scanty diameter of 39mm. Only 39mm. The last time a 39mm watch was considered manly was in the 1950s.

Aesthetically, its a very pleasing watch to look at. A nice deep fudge-like brown dial and strap, making you wonder why B&R didn’t call it the Chocolate 126 or Buff Squirrel 126. Contrasting against the dark color of the dial are the nice white minute markings and the red Bell and Ross ‘&’ logo just above the six o’clock position. It’s certainly not new, having been around for a couple of years now, but the clean and very readable design makes the dial look contemporary and sophisticated without being too busy.

But the obvious comparison here of course, is against its own stablemates, the BR01 instrument-series chronos. The Military drops the 3 and 9 o’clock hour-markers and retains all the others, while the BR01 goes the other direction and drops everything except for the 12 o’clock marker and a partially concealed 3 and 9. So you’re getting more numbers on your dial with this smaller watch, see. Now that’s a great indicator of value. Hour-markers.

Bell and Ross Military 126, Stainless Steel Case, 39mm, 200m water-resistance; sapphire glass caseback, 42 hours power reserve. Movement: self-winding ETA 2894.