Rolex Sea Dweller DeepSea: Strolling in the Deep Sea

One fine day, in the underwater city of Bigini Bottom*, two good friends Spongeslob Sparepants* and Patrick FuBar* are taking a stroll…

 *names have been changed to preserve the actual location and identities of potential defendants

Spongeslob Sparepants: I’m walking, I’m walking, I’m walking along…

Patrick Fubar*: I’m walking along, I’m walking alon… (spots something) Whoa! Spongeslob! What in the name of shiny metal things is that shiny metal thing?!

Spongeslob: Eh? Let’s get it out!

The two dig and partially excavate a Rolex Sea Dweller DeepSea, Ref: 116660.

Spongeslob and Patrick: Whoa!!!

Spongeslob: It looks like….a clock!

Patrick: Yes! A clock! With a diving man attached to it!

Spongeslob: (Pokes lifeless diver) The diving man is not moving.

Patrick: Now we have to be careful Spongeslob. Have you ever heard of the “ugly clock”?

Spongeslob: No. 

Patrick: There was once an ugly clock. It was so ugly that everybody died.The end.

Spongeslob: Patrick, if I had a dollar for every brain cell you had I’d still only have a dollar. Help me take it off the diving man!

The two saline scoundrels rip the watch off the limp wrist

Patrick: What a strange looking clock! It’s got a shiny black doughnut stuck to its face…

Spongeslob: it says its a SEA-DWELLER but I’ve never seen or heard one around here named ‘Rolex’.

Patrick: Do you think he’s related to ‘Omega’, the unloved oyster who has no friends?

Spongeslob: (looking thoughtful) Well maybe… it says here “ORIGINAL GAS ESCAPE VALVE”… someone who needs a valve to let out gas won’t have many buddies.

Patrick: Wouldn’t this look good on the wall of your house Spongeslob?

Spongeslob: Yes! Let’s hang it back there!

The two meandering miscreants drag the watch along with them back to Spongeslob’s pineapple

Patrick: Whoa! This thing is heaaa-vy! It’s much heavier than the other ‘clocks’ we brought back!

Spongeslob: You mean the “Submariner”? Or do you mean the “Seamaster” clock?

Patrick: Yes! Both of them!

The two finally lug the watch back to Spongeslob’s home, where there is an entire wall decorated with dozens of diving watches

Spongeslob: It’s funny how we keep finding these underwater clocks.

Patrick: You think it’s got anything to do with that angry giant shark that we’re training?

Spongeslob: That angry giant shark that we’re training to attack diving humans, and is always hungry?

Patrick: That very one. 

Spongeslob: (looking thoughtful) Nah.

Patrick: I didn’t think so either.

END

Rolex Sea-Dweller DeepSea, Reference: 116660, Certified Chronometer (COSC), Rolex Caliber 3135; 48mm Stainless steel case with Ring Lock System and titanium case-back, black ceramic ‘cerachrom’ bezel, stainless steel Oyster bracelet, glidelock clasp, fliplock dive suit extension link, domed sapphire crystal, waterproof to 3,900m or 12,800ft, helium escape valve. Recommended retail price: $13,800.00.

 

 

Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star © 2012 Stephen Hillenburg and Nickelodeon All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

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