Dievas Reaper: The Deathly Hallows

The Dievas Reaper

Day, upmarket watch-shop. An unsuspecting watch executive is alone and cleans watch-display cases with a cloth, blissfully unaware of what is to happen next.

Suddenly, lightning strikes the front entrance. A dark cloud appears in the store. Time seems to stand still as The Grim Reaper steps out of the cloud.

Sales-Exec (alarmed): Wha… What?! I’ve not done anything wrong!

Grim Reaper: Mortal…

Sales-Exec (blabbering): Look man, I have a family…a family! I’ve got a wife, kids! My parents are old… take them instead!

G.R.: Mortal.. look, are you even listening to me?

Sales Exec: (In tears): I’m too young! I’ve not fulfilled my dreams! I wanted to go to China and teach homeless Pandas to read…

G.R: (losing patience) Ok shut up! All I want is to buy a watch!

Sales Exec: Wh..what?

G.R: (Sigh) Yes.

Sales Exec: A watch? I mean, you? As in, YOU need a watch?

G.R: It’s been difficult keeping my appointments with an hourglass.

Sales Exec: I see… well… what sort of watch are you looking for?

G.R: Well, accuracy has to be there I suppose. And something durable, when I get into the zone… the killing zone! But beyond that, I dunno. How about something that goes with my cloak? It’s black…

Sales Exec: Hmm… Ok, how about a Vacheron? Classic design, full of useful complications…

G.R: Honestly, I was hoping for something trendier. Vacheron’s been around almost as long as I have.

Sales Exec: (takes out another piece) How about this Bell and Ross? B&R is VERY fashionable.

G.R: Yes, I suppose… But B&R… all the B&R guys I’ve killed work either in theater or advertising… and you know what they say…

Sales Exec: Right, right… How about a Panerai?

G.R: I wanted something more… badass. Panerais only look badass to little girls.

Sales Exec: Hmm… (looks around store). Ok – how about Dievas?

G.R: Dievas? You mean that manufacturer from Singapore?…

Sales Exec: You can find a very good write-up on their company ethos here, and reviews of their watches here & here. But trust me, you’re going to love this (takes out a pitch-black, foreboding looking wristwatch): The Dievas Reaper. It is as black as night itself, with a soul so dark to match…

G.R: Wow, that sounds wiiiiiicked. Is that Shakespeare?

 

Sales Exec: Close. That quote came from John Tan the night-shift security guard.

G.R: Well… the watch does look very mean.

Sales Exec: Mean? Look, ‘Mean’ doesn’t even *begin* to describe this bad boy. This here is the friggin’ Tony Montana of the hor-o-logi-cal sphere. If you want to know what it’s like to shove a grenade into the pocket of a baby kangaroo, wear this watch.

G.R: Yes… yes. Is it tough?

Sales Exec: Well the manufacturers say it’s made of something they call 6steel, which is um… let me see (checks manual) … six times stronger than normal stainless steel.

G.R: And the accuracy?

Sales Exec: Very dependable – its pretty much the same thing you’ll find in most Hublots, Omegas, Bell & Rosses and Breitlings. The ETA 2824-2, and as you can see, they’ve customised the rotor as well. Nice detailing. The lume hands are blindingly bright too, against the pitch-black dial. I can see that lume just sweeping across the dial like a yellow lightsaber. Perfect for people like us who engage in lots of nocturnal activities, if you know what I mean…

 

G.R: But the date window is tiny. And in black it’s too dark to read!

Sales Exec: Well you know what they say about true badasses: they don’t care about dates. They’re usually late for appointments anyway.

G.R: True, true. But is it fashionable?

Sales Exec: Look, it’s all black, with bright yellow accents. What can be more fashionable than that?!

G.R: Yes! And it’s even named after me! What a coincidence!

Who’s the real pilots’ watch now, beee-yatch?

Sales Exec: Um… not exactly. It’s supposedly named after an Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV)…

G.R: What!

Sales Exec:… that kills a lot of people in one go.

G.R: That’s better. OK – I’m sold. I’ll take it. (Wears the reaper on boney wrist and admires it)

Sales Exec: Great! You won’t regret your decision… (prints out receipt and hands it over)

G.R: Thanks thanks… by the way, is there someone here named ‘Freddy Lee’?

Sales Exec: Yes (gulp)…why?

G.R: Oh, nothing much. I’m just supposed to collect him in a couple of hours.

Sales Exec: …You know what, the Dievas Reaper really isn’t all it’s hyped out to be. Let me introduce you to a watch that’s gonna blow your mind. Let me ask you, have you ever heard of the Romain Jerome Day and Night?

<exeunt>

Dievas Voyageur GMT, 42mm case diameter in brushed 6Steel Black; Custom Dievas Automatic Movement (ETA 2824-2 Base), leather strap, 42 hours power reserve.

Photo of Reaper/ Predator-B UAV courtesy of Drone Wars UK @ dronewarsuk.wordpress.com

 

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