Half-Gold Rolex Submariner 16613: Gold-Fingered

(Written by Auric Goh Fin Ger, Would-be World Dictator, Gold-thief and Purveyor of Pussies Galore)

Mr. Goh

Mr. Goh Fin Ger

Young man, let me begin by saying that I’ve been around. I was born at the time when a ‘waterproof watch’ meant that you could spit on it and polish the case. When a Cold War meant that a nuclear conflict, not a fight over cheap refrigeration, could break out anytime. But I’m not going to reminisce today. I’m going to teach you about value.

Like I said, I’ve been around. I’ve fought my share of super-spies, be they from MI6 or MILF. In retrospect, not everything I’ve done made sense- like trying to encase people with molten gold, or slice up enemies using a buzz-saw (ed: or, as pointed out by a reader, a laser cutter in the movie version. Yes there was a novel too!). But it’s my rage you see… sometimes, people just get me really, really mad.

Like the other day.

Timekeeping for pixies

That day, I walked past this watch shop, there was this Patek Phillipe Nautilus Chrono on display. It is quite a nice watch; I especially like how Patek thinks that anyone without 6/6 eyesight can actually figure out how the tiny chronograph works. But never mind. The proof’s in the pudding right? Anyway, this particular model, the 5980-1A, was the stainless steel one. So I casually asked the sales executive how much it cost.

S$58,000!!!

And this is a stainless steel watch?! It’s not got a platinum alloy or some tactical nuclear weapon hidden in the case? What?.. oh, you already knew? Right…

But anyway, you understand why I get mad. You expect me to pay S$58,000 for a SS watch? No! I expect Patek and their marketing agency to die! HaHa… been saving that one. Mind you, the only thing you’re likely to be looking after for the next generation is a mountain of debt.

So I’m telling you now that if you really wanted a heirloom that you can bequeath to your children, you should be looking at the Rolex Submariner, reference: 16613 instead. Now here is how a real man’s watch should be. Gold! Well half- gold at any rate. I’m trying to cut down on my gold intake. Doctor’s orders. It’s a shame, I know.

What do I like most about this watch? Well where do I begin? For starters, the gold strip down the oyster bracelet is really shiny… you can almost see your teeth in it. Incidentally, if you have gold teeth like I do, they’ll appear even brighter. Rolex really thinks of everything. Oh yes they do.

There’s gold everywhere on this fella… the crown is made of solid 18K yellow gold. Everything, except the oyster bracelet, is bordered or accented in gold. The maxi-dial hour markers are bordered in gold. The hour, minutes and seconds hand are bordered in gold. All the letters are in gold. The bezel is 18k YG and the numerals on the aluminum insert are in gold. In short, there’s a lot of gold for a half-gold watch. Indeed, indeed… great value.

Yes, I know there’s a new one now, the ref: 116613LB. But allow me to say this: W.T.F. Who uses ceramic in a watch? I use ceramic in on my kitchen flooring, in my garden, for my cheap flowerpots. But in a pricey fancy watch? Trust me, stick to the basics. You’ll never go wrong when you follow tradition. Like feeding your enemies to sea-bass armed with head-mounted lasers. HaHa! I saw that in another film, by the way.

It gives me such pleasure to know that this is my nemesis’ favourite watch. Oh yes, according to Wikipedia the Rolex Submariner has appeared in no less than 11 James Bond movies. Although I did not quite manage to turn him into a gold statue, having his favoured wristwatch in gold gives me no small amount of pleasure, HaHa. What? He uses an Omega now? What happened to tradition?

You want to know more about the movement? Look, there must be a million articles about Rolex Submariners out there, especially so for the older models. Why do you want technical information from me? Its obvious I’m just a guy with a gold obsession. Go away now. It’s time for my golden shower.

Rolex Submariner, reference number 16613, 18K Yellow Gold and 904L   Stainless Steel Case, 40mm; Movement: Rolex 3135. Price: S$12,800.00 (No longer in production)

 

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