Archive for May, 2011

Half-Gold Rolex Submariner 16613: Gold-Fingered

Sunday, May 29th, 2011

(Written by Auric Goh Fin Ger, Would-be World Dictator, Gold-thief and Purveyor of Pussies Galore)

Mr. Goh

Mr. Goh Fin Ger

Young man, let me begin by saying that I’ve been around. I was born at the time when a ‘waterproof watch’ meant that you could spit on it and polish the case. When a Cold War meant that a nuclear conflict, not a fight over cheap refrigeration, could break out anytime. But I’m not going to reminisce today. I’m going to teach you about value.

Like I said, I’ve been around. I’ve fought my share of super-spies, be they from MI6 or MILF. In retrospect, not everything I’ve done made sense- like trying to encase people with molten gold, or slice up enemies using a buzz-saw (ed: or, as pointed out by a reader, a laser cutter in the movie version. Yes there was a novel too!). But it’s my rage you see… sometimes, people just get me really, really mad.

Like the other day. (more…)

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